The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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