I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize