But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize