My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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