Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
