dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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