where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
