I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
