I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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