i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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