Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
