Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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