Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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