Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize