I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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