Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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