Already got asked if we're dating
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
