Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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