I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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