I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
