her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
