It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
