I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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