Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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