If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
