It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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