Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
