Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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