Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
