I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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