Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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