Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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