I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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