Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
