Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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