I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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