Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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