You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I need moral support for this bender
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
