i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
