I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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