I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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