Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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