the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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