So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize