what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
