I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
