sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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