Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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