Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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