She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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