Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
