I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
