apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
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and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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