There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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