His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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