I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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