maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
