If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
